I finally managed to hit the wall today during my first 4.2 miler around Greenlake in weeks. Weary of staying mired in my toxic state for so long, I laced up and went outside, and once I started I couldn't really stop...for one thing, I credit the fact that I'm eating again, but really just getting myself out the door simply to face the world seemed to take forever. I'm slowly coming to the realization though that it wasn't the world I was avoiding but myself. I'm almost afraid of another mental or physical roadblock that might prevent me from continuing to move.
A little voice in my head -- and I know for a fact that it's not the one I've been hearing for the past few weeks -- tells me to keep moving. Hard as it is, I'm learning to listen to that one instead.
Today, unlike the other times I've run, I didn't take music with me. But for whatever reason I had Duncan Sheik's "The End of Outside" going through my head all the way around the lake and back to my doorstep:
Should I say I'm sorry, for what I'm going to say
I guess it's way beyond me,
to sleep with yesterday
I want to see my future
I want to know my past
The everlasting present
Is that so much to ask?
1 comment:
Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.
Every day we have the choice to live fully.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.
After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
~Redeyedog
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